Navigation
  • Home
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Shop
  • Contact
     
Search
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
Site logo
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Contact
View large
Articles

My libido is dead and my partner still wants to f*ck – what now?

Posted on March 2, 2018 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

This is a very common question!

When a relationship is fresh, people tend to have higher levels of excitement, and so it’s easier to cue up pleasure when you’re more receptive to it. As those excitement levels wane and the monotony of life or routine re-emerges, it is normal and common for libido to dampen.

Part of the reason that so many heterosexual couples find this to eventually be the case is probably partly due to the fact that many cisgender women tend to have “responsive desire”, and many cisgender men tend to have “spontaneous desire”. This means that he’s more likely to randomly feel aroused, and you’re going to need a bit more warm-up to get aroused.

Researcher Emily Nagoski Ph.D can tell you more about this, and I recommend her book “Come As You Are” to any cisgender woman who has ever felt confused about their arousal, or their lack of arousal. Read more about this here.

How do you two focus on intimacy that isn’t sexual or penis-in-vagina? Are you on your cell phones while you spend time together? How often do you surprise each other with a love note, or by help with an errand or around the house? Does your partner ever give you pleasurable touch that isn’t sexual, like playing with your hair or a hand rub? Being able to fuck is something that partnered people tend to take for granted, especially if we aren’t building or reinforcing our connections in other ways. Physical intimacy will often grow when emotional and relational intimacy is nurtured. Ask your partner for what you need, and be mindful of how they respond.

Do you take medication? What kind? Libido can be impacted by SSRIs, allergy medications, and even hormonal birth control.  Your doctor might not even know this, because MDs are not often sexual health experts. I recommend that you ask them and do your own research.

And how is your health? Diets high in processed “foods”, fatty meats and greasy eats will clog your arteries and make it more difficult to get blood flowing to all of your organs and cells that facilitate arousal. Get as much sleep, physical activity, and fruits and veggies that you can.

And remember, in order to desire sex, the sex should be worth desiring! Don’t let anybody inside of you unless that’s exactly where you want them to be.

 

Originally published on Confluencedaily.com

arousalcoupleshealthheterosexualintimacylibidosex advice
Share Post
Previous
Next
My Fiance Feels Neglected Because We Don’t Have Sex as Often as He’d Like – What Now?

About Author

Elle Stanger

Some people call me Elle, others call me Mommy or Babe. I wear a smile more often than anything else and I live in a top-secret safe space in the Pacific Northwest.

Related posts

More details
Articles, Blog, sex work

Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB

December 20, 2022 at 11:40 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Community Activism, Education, prostitution

STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org

March 23, 2022 at 4:50 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, prostitution, sex work

How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

February 28, 2022 at 11:24 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Education, Updates

“M” is for National Masturbation Month – The Pomonan

May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

The New York Post Outed A Paramedic As A Sex Worker. Here’s What They Didn’t Tell You.

December 18, 2020 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

Categories

  • Articles
  • Blog
  • Community Activism
  • Contact
  • decrim
  • Education
  • Erotica
  • HB3088
  • Interviews
  • Oregon
  • Poetry
  • prostitution
  • sex work
  • Uncategorized
  • Updates

Recent Posts

  • LIVE SEX SHOW 2/3/23
  • WEBINAR – DEMYSTIFYING SEX WORK Jan 27th, 2023
  • Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB
  • The Pegging Book Episode – They Talk Sex Podcast
  • Girl Boner Radio: Squirting story!

Tags

activism advice consent couples COVID dating decriminalization erotica fantasy feminism FOSTA health herpes heterosexual intimacy kids libido masturbation misogyny Oregon parenting podcast police polyamory porn portland prostitution queer relationships SESTA sex sex advice sex education sex tips sex toys sex trafficking sexual health sex work shame Slutwalk STIs stripclub strip clubs stripper strippers

Search engine

Use this form to find things you need on this site