Let's Get To Know Each Other A Little Better
Hello! I am a queer, mid-thirties nonmonogamous, parent, sex worker, and certified sex educator and media producer. I use she/they pronouns. I have worked as a porn shop manager and product buyer, pole dancing stripper, a consultant for anti-trafficking organizations, professional cuddler, porn maker, writer, podcast host, and certified sex educator.
I have been published nude online since 2005 and have worked in adult entertainment and touch-work since 2009. I have been featured in Inked Magazine, Playboy, Hustler, Rolling Stone and have written for Men’s Health, Romper, Thrillist, Huffington Post, and more! Strange Bedfellows Podcast was named “the best sex and politics podcast you’ve never heard of” by Portland Mercury and earned 100,000 subscribers in two years. I’ve been interviewed by very different folks such as Dan Savage, Guys We F*cked Podcast, and Alan Colmes.
My philosophy is that teachers must gain information from a diverse audience. I recognize that I have an affinity for learning and teaching about sexuality but that I am limited by my own point of view and experiences. I am an effective teacher because I actively work to be objective about sexuality information and to learn from the clients themselves.
As a kid, I realized that my peers would enlist my help on things with which other kids felt uncomfortable because I don’t feel shame about sex or bodily functions; I must have asked the school nurse for a maxi-pad ten times in one month because many of my female friends were too shy to ask for themselves. Other kids commonly asked me to explain how pregnancy worked, or help to understand the confusing words they’d heard from older kids or their parents. “What is masturbation?” I was about eleven when my nine-year-old neighbor inquired about this at the bus stop one morning, and I still remember that I realized that nobody else had really defined it for me, either. “It’s like having sex with yourself”, I finally figured aloud. Years later I still think this is a great definition at any age.
As a lobbyist for sex worker’s rights in Oregon, I have witnessed firsthand how common whorephobia (derision of sex workers and their activities) is amongst even self-proclaimed “liberal” Americans, and as a longtime sex worker I’m here to teach the teachers about their own blind spots, and about how those stereotypical attitudes reinforce harm.
As a porn maker and porn watcher, I know that the majority of visual erotica is made as entertainment, and is not reflective of private, non-performative activities that people engage in. Many people do not see themselves represented or safe in sexuality-related industries, this is why I use my social media as a tool for gathering feedback and encouraging a diverse audience. I ask to hear from everyone about what creates problems or pleasure in their lives.
As a student, I have learned that context and history are important factors in varying attitudes and actions that people engage, and I seek to approach broad and controversial topics with care and intention. I have always wanted to reduce confusion and harm around bodies and touch, but my ethics are more informed these days, thanks to feedback from other people and a more inclusive attitude.
As a parent, I have witnessed the curiosity and eagerness of children to understand and feel comfortable in their bodies, and I hear from clients who were shamed or refused information by parents who didn’t have the education or support to offer them because they never received it themselves.
I am an effective teacher of sexuality because my goal is to reduce shame by sharing quantitative and qualitative data, and by being open to new information always.