Navigation
  • Home
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Shop
  • Contact
     
Search
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
Site logo
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Contact
View large
Articles

My Fiance Feels Neglected Because We Don’t Have Sex as Often as He’d Like – What Now?

Posted on March 18, 2018 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

Q: In the last year, I’ve gotten a new job and it’s very physically and emotionally demanding, and my fiance of three years complains if we go longer than four or five days without sex. I love him and still find him very attractive but I feel like I’m constantly putting on a show at work, so when I come home I just want to relax with my companion.

A: It is legitimate to be “touched-out” by the end of a long day or week, and people who are engaging in empathic or emotional labor carry unseen burdens and deal with invisible loads. (hehe, loads) As an adult entertainer, I am usually too tired in my pussy, heart, and mind when I head home from shift, and I cut myself some slack because of it. People who work in healthcare, child care, elder care, sex work tend to be very at-risk for emotional burnout, and having children, pets and relationships exacerbates the likelihood of running out of fucks to give by the end of the day.

Unfortunately, Americans tend to measure labor and productivity by the quantity of tangible goods produced, and those people have a difficult time providing space for those of us who need time to heal after a tough shift of peddling intangibles and wading through other people’s tears. I would provide him with some reading about the impacts of emotional labor: sorry about the clowns in the introduction!

Ask him for other ways that you can unwind together, baths and snuggling CAN lead to sex but they certainly don’t have to. And because I’m a proponent of mindful honesty, I suggest practicing the sentence; “Pretending to care about my clients is stressful and exhausting and I don’t want to fake interest in you either.”

If he’s feeling neglected due to the decrease of touch and closeness that you two are able to share in the last year due to the strains of your job, encourage him to self-pleasure. I bought my ex-husband a nice masturbator when I was pregnant and couldn’t stand to be penetrated, and we were both grateful for it! Hug him more. Look him in the eyes, and tell him you miss him too, and that you wish that capitalism didn’t limit the amount of time that people are able to spend with their loved ones.

 

 

Originally published on Confluencedaily.com

burnoutcouplesheterosexualintimacysex advice
Share Post
Previous
My libido is dead and my partner still wants to f*ck – what now?
Next
Black Bulb Creative Podcast – Podcast

About Author

Elle Stanger

Some people call me Elle, others call me Mommy or Babe. I wear a smile more often than anything else and I live in a top-secret safe space in the Pacific Northwest.

Related posts

More details
Articles, Blog, sex work

Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB

December 20, 2022 at 11:40 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Community Activism, Education, prostitution

STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org

March 23, 2022 at 4:50 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, prostitution, sex work

How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

February 28, 2022 at 11:24 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Education, Updates

“M” is for National Masturbation Month – The Pomonan

May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

The New York Post Outed A Paramedic As A Sex Worker. Here’s What They Didn’t Tell You.

December 18, 2020 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

Categories

  • Articles
  • Blog
  • Community Activism
  • Contact
  • decrim
  • Education
  • Erotica
  • HB3088
  • Interviews
  • Oregon
  • Poetry
  • prostitution
  • sex work
  • Uncategorized
  • Updates

Recent Posts

  • JOIN OSWC – Oregon Sex Workers Committee
  • FRESH SPRING PORN OFFERINGS
  • WEBINAR – DEMYSTIFYING SEX WORK Jan 27th, 2023
  • Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB
  • The Pegging Book Episode – They Talk Sex Podcast

Tags

activism advice consent couples COVID dating decriminalization erotica fantasy feminism FOSTA health herpes heterosexual intimacy kids libido masturbation misogyny Oregon parenting podcast police polyamory porn portland prostitution queer relationships SESTA sex sex advice sex education sex tips sex toys sex trafficking sexual health sex work shame Slutwalk STIs stripclub strip clubs stripper strippers

Search engine

Use this form to find things you need on this site