“How did you two meet?” It’s a common question, and some couples have more interesting answers than others.

For me, I met the father of our child for the first time in July of 2009, a few weeks after I had started stripping. As a new stripper, it was overwhelming enough trying to dance nude. But as I gradually became comfortable with my new gig, I also got to know the quiet man who laughed at my jokes and loved pulled pork sandwiches.

He asked for my number after he had spent weeks getting to know me and gauging a mutual interest. I initially declined — “Let’s not ruin a good thing,” I told him, and he politely accepted. I wrestled with my decision, and ultimately asked for his number the next time I saw him. Seven years later we are amicably divorced, with one offspring to show for it. My story is not unique, as there are innumerable roads that lovers can take, but here are some common scenarios.

Boy meets stripper, stripper says no thank you

This happens the vast majority of the time. It’s basically in my job description to be charming and conversational, and some people get confused and can’t measure or discern real interest and attraction. I get asked out a lot; but statistically speaking, only accept about .05% of dates from dudes I meet in the club. Some female strippers pull from the patron dating pool more often, and other women let any handsome face become a distraction. Girl, keep your eyes on the hustle, as we say.

Boy meets stripper, they date, stripper quits stripping

I know a handful of strippers who quit the job at their partner’s behest, EVEN THOUGH they had first met at her place of work. While it’s not unusual for boyfriends and girlfriends to ask their stripper girlfriend to leave the job behind after they couple up, it’s absolutely inappropriate for anyone to ask you to desert your method of income unless they are willing to pick up the slack. 

“Being self-supporting is a key ingredient when it comes to mature relationships,” says sexuality counselor Buster Ross. And I would like to remind all readers that it’s a slippery slope to allow jealousy to dictate a relationship.

Boy meets stripper, realizes she’s human

There’s a lot of excitement around the idea of dating a stripper, but guess what? We’re people just like everyone else. Sweatpants, farting, sleeping in, cleaning the kitchen, meeting the in-laws… these  are all things that you can experience when dating a stripper — or anyone else.

“Relational harmony is the result of people doing what it is that they love,” says Ross, “and not forgoing what they love to uplift the dreams of others.” If you love what you do, don’t change for anyone. People come and go, but resumes and auditions are hard to come by.