Navigation
  • Home
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Shop
  • Contact
     
Search
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
Site logo
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Contact
View large
Articles

Political Differences in Romantic Relationships

Posted on October 8, 2020 at 12:10 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

Q: I don’t feel okay with my partner lately, and we argue whenever we try to talk politics. He does not understand the riots, the Black Lives Matter movement, the troubles with Trump, or my feeling of being turned off sexually because of the constant arguments we have about these things.

I love this man and have known him for years, but I can’t imagine a future with him. Should I try to stay with him? He can be such a compassionate person but it feels like it’s sometimes only when he is personally affected by something, but not a bigger-humanity picture. Help?

A: Yep, lack of empathy for others is a real turn-off. I hear ya. It’s valid that you don’t feel like being touched or held by someone who adamantly voices his lack of care for others. You’re not alone, and there’s lots of women who don’t want to have sex with Republican-ish men, as told by this feedback from Trump campaigners and cabinet members themselves.

While many of us hold deeply instilled biases of white supremacy and ableism, folks can and do grow their viewpoints and unlearn their instilled biases, but only if they want to.

The Trump administration’s policies, gaffes, tweets and priorities has pushed topics like racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, and transphobia to the forefront of more dinner-table talks then years prior. As more Americans realize systemic injustices and choose to endeavor for equality, it makes sense that we want our partners and dating pool to meet a higher standard also.

Children: Do you want any? His beliefs and attitudes and actions relating to women/race/sex/labor will matter even more when he starts instilling those beliefs in another human.

Having a sexist partner can be bad, but what happens when that partner becomes Dad and shames his daughter for her outfits, or victim-blames and belittles other women’s bodies and looks within her earshot?

Like most people, he probably needs information on topics in order to learn, but good luck getting him to read bell hooks “Ain’t I Woman” or listen to anti-racism podcasts or media.

Sue Ujvary, LPC, LMHC also read this question with me, and pointed out that you say you “want him to be: different than he is.” Sue says, “If you want someone to be different than they are, you don’t love them; you love the idea of what they could become in your eyes.”

“Your feelings about how he views humanity will poison how you think about how he truly views you. You say that you can be yourself around him, except when it comes to politics. But the personal *is* political. Essentially, you are saying that you can be yourself around him, except when it comes to expressing your opinions, because expressing your opinions always leads to the same, unproductive argument”, says one anon commenter, when asked for advice about a similar situation.

I’d move on, or at least plan to.

Update: She’s stacking money and hoping to move out after the pandemic subsides.

I wish her the best.

Published October 8th, 2020 in Confluence Daily

politicsrelationships
Share Post
Previous
All About Eve Podcast – 17 Episode Interview with Elle Stanger
Next
Sex Education Saves Lives And Reduces Harm

About Author

Elle Stanger

Some people call me Elle, others call me Mommy or Babe. I wear a smile more often than anything else and I live in a top-secret safe space in the Pacific Northwest.

Related posts

More details
Articles, Blog, sex work

Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB

December 20, 2022 at 11:40 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Community Activism, Education, prostitution

STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org

March 23, 2022 at 4:50 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, prostitution, sex work

How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

February 28, 2022 at 11:24 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Education, Updates

“M” is for National Masturbation Month – The Pomonan

May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

The New York Post Outed A Paramedic As A Sex Worker. Here’s What They Didn’t Tell You.

December 18, 2020 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

Categories

  • Articles
  • Blog
  • Community Activism
  • Contact
  • decrim
  • Education
  • Erotica
  • HB3088
  • Interviews
  • Oregon
  • Poetry
  • prostitution
  • sex work
  • Uncategorized
  • Updates

Recent Posts

  • JOIN OSWC – Oregon Sex Workers Committee
  • FRESH SPRING PORN OFFERINGS
  • WEBINAR – DEMYSTIFYING SEX WORK Jan 27th, 2023
  • Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB
  • The Pegging Book Episode – They Talk Sex Podcast

Tags

activism advice consent couples COVID dating decriminalization erotica fantasy feminism FOSTA health herpes heterosexual intimacy kids libido masturbation misogyny Oregon parenting podcast police polyamory porn portland prostitution queer relationships SESTA sex sex advice sex education sex tips sex toys sex trafficking sexual health sex work shame Slutwalk STIs stripclub strip clubs stripper strippers

Search engine

Use this form to find things you need on this site