Navigation
  • Home
  • About
  • Latest
  • Consulting
  • Podcast
  • Resources
  • Shop
  • Contact
     
Search
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
Site logo
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Contact
View large
Articles

My husband and I had an amazing sex life until we had our baby. Now I can’t orgasm.

Posted on April 16, 2018 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

Q: My husband and I had an amazing sex life until we had our baby. After she was born we both still wanted it, but it’s different now. It’s almost impossible for me to orgasm. It’s frustrating for both of us. I’ve been to the doctor. She says everything is fine. It’s been a year. It’s not getting better. I feel like I’m failing at sex.

A: Congratulations on your 1-year-old and your supportive husband! As a person who has deep emotional ties to their orgasms and to their parenthood, I know what it’s like to try to manage both, and the first year is the most difficult for many post-partum people.

During pregnancy and birth, your body and your organs moved around. You grew an organ and then shed it during birth, (your placenta) which is nothing to be sneezed at. You had many lbs of pressure pushing down on your organs and bones, and that can change the function or appearance of body parts. We know that pregnancy can alter how our bodies look, and yet we forget that this can change how things feel. I had a difficult time breastfeeding, and my nipples were off-limits to my daughter’s father until she was weaned, because it just didn’t feel good for them to be touched for the first two years of her life!

Sex therapists tell me that the most common population of people who have trouble with arousal or orgasm are working women with children. Kids, labor and relationships require energy, which new parents don’t always have. Also, the constant diapering and crying of a new baby can drive a serious wedge into a person’s ability to fantasize about sex or to relax enough to enjoy it.

I believe that you will orgasm again, but that will happen after you’ve stopped trying so hard to get there, and focusing on the goal rather than the journey will add to your self-imposed pressure.

What kind of sensual touch can you enjoy with your husband or by yourself? Try reading a “trashy” romance novel, I recently learned that women who read erotica report much more sexual satisfaction and fantasy in their lives. If the things that worked for you before aren’t even getting you close now; consider this a point in your sexual timeline that is always evolving. Your sex life today is probably different than it was five years ago, and it could be very different in another week, year, or decade. Give yourself permission to explore what feels new.

 

Originally published on Confluencedaily.com

childbirthcoupleslibidopostpartumpregnancy
Share Post
Previous
Sex Experts Tell Us Exactly How To Make Our Sex Lives Better – UPROXX
Next
My boyfriend likes to go to strip clubs – I don’t want to make it a big deal but I feel threatened and insecure about it

About Author

Elle Stanger

Some people call me Elle, others call me Mommy or Babe. I wear a smile more often than anything else and I live in a top-secret safe space in the Pacific Northwest.

Related posts

More details
Articles, Community Activism, Education, prostitution

STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org

March 23, 2022 at 4:50 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, prostitution, sex work

How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

February 28, 2022 at 11:24 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Education, Updates

“M” is for National Masturbation Month – The Pomonan

May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

The New York Post Outed A Paramedic As A Sex Worker. Here’s What They Didn’t Tell You.

December 18, 2020 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

Sex Education Saves Lives And Reduces Harm

November 9, 2020 at 12:07 pm by Elle Stanger

…

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

Categories

  • Articles
  • Blog
  • Community Activism
  • Contact
  • decrim
  • Education
  • Erotica
  • HB3088
  • Interviews
  • Oregon
  • Poetry
  • prostitution
  • sex work
  • Updates

Recent Posts

  • FRE$H PORN VIDEO – SPANKING + SEX
  • STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org
  • SYMPOSIUM on Sex Work – watch online
  • Dancing Schedule + FAQ
  • How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

Tags

activism advice consent couples COVID dating decriminalization erotica fantasy feminism FOSTA health herpes heterosexual intimacy kids libido masturbation misogyny Oregon parenting podcast police polyamory porn portland prostitution queer relationships SESTA sex sex advice sex education sex tips sex toys sex trafficking sexual assault sexual health sex work shame Slutwalk STIs stripclub stripper strippers

© StripperWriter 2020 - All Rights Reserved - This is a creatv website.

Search engine

Use this form to find things you need on this site