Navigation
  • Home
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Shop
  • Contact
     
Search
  • About
  • Latest
  • Resources
  • BTS
Site logo
  • Podcast
  • XXX
  • Consulting
  • Contact
View large
Articles

Guilt, Religion And Sex Before Marriage

Posted on May 28, 2018 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

Q: “I was raised in a very traditionally Christian home. I learned that sex was for marriage without exception. However, as a twenty-two-year-old woman, I have decided to explore my sexuality outside of marriage. I believe this is important but I’m riddled with guilt.”

 

A: How you feel about sex is likely very influenced with where in the world you were born, and in what year. Only a few hundred years ago was the Catholic church condemning women to die for having become pregnant outside of marriage, and “honor killings” still happen in other religions today. In modern times there is still a real fear among faith-based folks: the far of ostracization from their family and community. This fear is what forces these folks to live within the confines of those expectations, regardless of their faith. This is why people will live their lives closeting their sexuality, or their gender, or their desire to date before marriage or to not marry at all.

 

I encourage people to seek other methods of keeping themselves right with the world and with their sense of soul or spirituality, even if that means moving away from the groups or venues that challenge your developing beliefs. Let’s acknowledge that Judeo-Christian religions (and all patriarchal religions) lead to direct violence and harm against many people.  

 

I give you permission to seek out health information and to dispel some of the harmful myths that are presented to many children in Christian environments. No, healthy regular sex will not stretch out your vagina or transfer someone’s DNA onto yours.  Yes, you deserve to have a good working knowledge of how your body experiences pleasure in this lifetime.

Yes, there are some aspects of human sexuality that are deeply negative and have harmful consequences, and it is important to acknowledge that having partnered sex requires communication and mindfulness. These efforts are rewarding in the fact that people with healthy attitudes about sex are more likely to use contraception properly, to talk about sex with their partners comfortably, and to report better experiences.

The Old and New Testament were not kind to women; we were sold by our fathers, raped by our husbands, and even Mary was impregnated by God without consent. Female choice or pleasure is never been rewarded or even considered in the Bible(s). I encourage you to read as much as you can about sexual function, about sex history, and about anatomy.

And consider that you don’t necessarily become an atheist, but you might want to find a different church and spend some time away from the people who raised you to feel the guilt that you’re currently trying to deconstruct. Namaste.

 

Originally published on ConfluenceDaily.com

healthpatriarchyreligionsex adviceshame
Share Post
Previous
Inquiring Minds Want to Know: The Ins and Out of Period Sex
Next
I Want a Real Polyamorous Relationship With Some Roots and Depth & I Don’t Know Where to Start – Confluence Daily

About Author

Elle Stanger

Some people call me Elle, others call me Mommy or Babe. I wear a smile more often than anything else and I live in a top-secret safe space in the Pacific Northwest.

Related posts

More details
Articles, Blog, sex work

Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB

December 20, 2022 at 11:40 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Community Activism, Education, prostitution

STOP PUNISHING SEX WORK – TheCrimeReport.org

March 23, 2022 at 4:50 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, prostitution, sex work

How to prevent trafficking and police violence? The answer might surprise you – Decriminalization of sex work

February 28, 2022 at 11:24 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles, Education, Updates

“M” is for National Masturbation Month – The Pomonan

May 5, 2021 at 11:20 pm by Elle Stanger / 0

…

More details
Articles

The New York Post Outed A Paramedic As A Sex Worker. Here’s What They Didn’t Tell You.

December 18, 2020 at 12:00 am by Elle Stanger / 0

…

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

Categories

  • Articles
  • Blog
  • Community Activism
  • Contact
  • decrim
  • Education
  • Erotica
  • HB3088
  • Interviews
  • Oregon
  • Poetry
  • prostitution
  • sex work
  • Uncategorized
  • Updates

Recent Posts

  • JOIN OSWC – Oregon Sex Workers Committee
  • FRESH SPRING PORN OFFERINGS
  • WEBINAR – DEMYSTIFYING SEX WORK Jan 27th, 2023
  • Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers – PORNHUB
  • The Pegging Book Episode – They Talk Sex Podcast

Tags

activism advice consent couples COVID dating decriminalization erotica fantasy feminism FOSTA health herpes heterosexual intimacy kids libido masturbation misogyny Oregon parenting podcast police polyamory porn portland prostitution queer relationships SESTA sex sex advice sex education sex tips sex toys sex trafficking sexual health sex work shame Slutwalk STIs stripclub strip clubs stripper strippers

Search engine

Use this form to find things you need on this site