Since 2015, a small circle of folks has been harassing my followers and attempting to slander me with various false accusations: that I reported fellow (full service) sex workers to police, that I hired a known rapist to work an event for sexual assault survivors, that I misgender people as an act of violence, that I’m homophobic and transphobic.

Some of these folks are total strangers to me, but have a history of this false-allegation-making. Some of these folks are former co-sworkers and were upset when I noticed their bullying behavior toward others. I set boundaries regarding our interactions, and their reaction was to slander me.

As someone who has always worked to protect sex workers and their identities, I knew that this attacks were invalid and have been horrified at their refusal to communicate to validate these accusations with proof, for the last five years.

I am a white person who has written a few ignorant things in over fifteen years of being published online, but real activism allows for growth, and that’s not what my call-out crowd is interested in.

I have a desire to discuss these allegations, and reached out to two people who spearheaded the most recent movement of defamation against me.

When invited to a neutrally located, peer-mediated and fully funded open debate-style meeting, to address accusations, the accusers took deliberate steps to distance themselves from their responsibility in their roles as instigators of harassment or violence against me. Linked here is one example of this attempt at transparency.

“How Do We Hold Each other Accountable When We Mess Up“ by Bianca Laureano is a useful resource for all.

Research shows that there are reasons why marginalized peoples engage in call-out culture, and that has given better framing to the WHY behind some of these accusations.

Other research shows that people often attack peers they view as more successful than them.

Victims of separate call-outs by the same folks have contacted me to inform me that my attackers perform online bullying under the guise of social justice, often. I have not pressed charges on these people because I believe they need mental health support services, such as the woman who created nine different profiles and thirty nine Instagram posts in twelve days claiming “Elle Stanger is a Nazi.”

I have learned that my experience is unfortunately not unique, and have learned more about what cancel-culture and false accusations looks like, by following the work of Clementine Morrigan and Mole Frances.

The anti-bullying work of Seerut K Chawla is also recommended for folks who have experienced similarly.

I’m available for transformative justice and any accountability process that any of these coherent parties would like to engage in. 

I encourage anyone with curiosity about these issues to contact me directly for clarification. If you have also been a victim of harassment by M. Bickers, or Lil*** Sinclair, or S D*****, contact me.

Thank you for reading.