I’ve been reading blowjob tips in ladies’ and men’s magazines for a decade, and I’m sick of the same ol’ “poke ’em in the perineum” recommendation. I’ve culled my own tips and tricks, and gathered the knowledge of a porn star and two sex educators who actually enjoy S-ing the D. I also polled my male readers and found a few common affinities. Feel free to take notes, or email me suggestions.

What You Need:

• • Penis/Testicles/Groin/Human Being

• • Mouth(Yours)

• • Hands(Everyone’s)

What You Might Want:

• • Water to hydrate/freshen/play with.

• • LUBE! “You can only produce so much saliva, and lube will keep things gliding along and feeling great. If taste is an issue find a flavored lube you enjoy. Sliquid makes some great ones,” says sex educator and writer JoEllen Notte. I like to use silicone lube, it never gets sticky and is compatible with all non-silicone sex toys. It won’t make you sick if you get a bit in your mouth, but obvs don’t drink the stuff.

• • Tissues or hygiene wipes, for cleanup.

Moves

• • Basic Twist: There’s straight-up-and down stroking, and then there’s that wonderful flick-of-the-wrist that adds a bit of fluidity and grace. Loosen up your wrist when you stroke his shaft, and certainly use two hands if he’s larger or longer. If you watch even a couple of minutes of solo, i.e. male masturbation porn, you’ll get a refresher course on the different ways to stroke penis.

• • The Nuzzle: This is easiest if penis person is lying flat on their back, with your head at their genitals. Fill your mouth with their testicles, and you or they can stroke the penis or hold it in your hand. This move is less about their penis, and more about their taint. With your chin and face try a slow up and down “nod,” so that you apply pressure to their taint. There’s a load of commonly neglected nerve endings in this area!. It’s a PG-13 version of analingus for those of us who don’t want to commit to butt-licking.

• • Top Hat: I use this one on larger penised partners, but it works for most cocks. Gently suck or lick at the tip and head of the penis. With one hand, form a gentle but secure “o” ring around the base of the head of the penis, just underneath the widest part of the mushroom-head. Under that, your other hand strokes from the base to where your top hand is positioned on the frenulum. On average or smaller peens you can make the “o” ring with your finger and thumb, on larger ones use all of your fingers in a gentle closed fist.

• • Teamwork: Ask him to stroke himself, so that he can self-stimulate while your mouth takes care of the head of his dick, or kisses and stimulates the surrounding areas.

• • The Spade: This works best when the blower is kneeling and the blowee is standing. Before you start press your thumbs together, and your pointer fingers together, forming the shape of a spade. Imagine how you can encircle the penis and testicles while the penis is in your mouth, and use the tips of your outstretched fingers to lightly scratch or firmly rub their groin and inner thighs.. Use your thumbs to rub their taint, or lower part of their balls. You can press against their pubic bone, which is a blood-rich area, and increases genital arousal in both men and women.

• • Juicer: BE CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE. It’s basically equivalent to directly stimulating the exposed clitoral head, because you are focusing on the top of the penile head. Use a lubed hand, always, and watch your recipient’s reaction. If it hurts, you’ll know! However, this one *can* put a person over the top. Make a cupped palm, and while holding firm the shaft in your other hand, circle your palm on the top of the penis in a back and forth motion. I’ve watched guys shudder and ejaculate, or gasp and wiggle away. Do this slowly, and if they don’t like it, obvs don’t do it again.

• • Back Plank: As previously mentioned. This one is a nice variation on the typical kneeling position: “If deep throating is something you are both into, lie on your back with you head hanging off the bed. This puts your mouth and throat in a long straight line and can let you get more down. Make sure to negotiate a signal with your partner so you can let them know if you need to get up.” -JoEllen Notte, Sex educator and writer.

• • Assisted Titty Fuck: (This is easier with bigger penises and average-to-larger breasts.) Have them straddle your chest, with a pillow or two under your head. Suck mostly on the head/tip of the penis, while using your hands and breasts to stroke. Bonus points if you maintain eye contact! Lube helps greatly, and I’ve been told that the slippery, warm rubbing of testicles and belly feels great. Your hands are free to play with their butt cheeks, lower back, etc.

• • Nipple Triangle: Flick and touch his nipples with your fingers and fingertips, while their penis is in your mouth. The simultaneous stimulation connects and intensifies arousal.

• • Lay perpendicular to them, so that your bodies form a “T.” This is a great angle for you to arch your back so they can stimulate your genitals. And the view of your profile creates much more to look at than just the top of your head moving up and down.

Photo: Steven Clouse

What The Cocks Said

When polled, the most common responses from Penis-owners ages 21-60 were…

• • Enthusiasm! If you’re doing this like a chore it will be apparent. “I hope you want to do this other than on my birthday and Father’s Day. Obligation is not sexy.”

• • Occasional/constant eye contact. “I want to know that my partner is really with me, focused on all of me.”

• • Light teeth, at random intervals, but mostly during warm-up. (Some recipients stated that teeth is more likely to hurt their dicks once they are fully engorged and erect).

• • Don’t be afraid to get messy. “Gagging is weirdly hot, especially if your throat constricts up so that I can feel it tighten on the head of my penis.”

• • Self-stimulate: “Finding a way to rub your clit all over my legs, or lightly brushing your nipples on my skin during a blowjob is worthy of next level props, IMO.”

Don’t Forget

• • “Don’t put too much pressure on your mouth, that’s how you tire out your jaw. An awesome blow job involves lots of hand play too. Let your hand follow your mouth, take time to use only your hands, and -if your partner is into it- use your hands to play with their balls or stimulate the prostate” says JoEllen Notte.

• • Unless your partner has a puking kink, avoid eating at least one hour before blowing. I’ve learned that I’m better at deep-throating when my belly isn’t full of food. The blowjob should precede the steak dinner, or at least come much later.

• • Adult video star Riley Reyes has a worldly attitude when it comes to sex; “Blowjobs are about the journey more than the destination. So instead of rhythmically pumping away trying to get your partner off, slow down and have some fun with it! Tease a bit. Run your tongue up the shaft. Play with the tip. Use your hands. Use your lips. Rub their cock on your face or tits or anything that sounds like a good time to you. Explore and enjoy. Because if you’re having fun, they can tell.”

• • Communicate. Pay attention to your partner. If you’re nervous, that means you should slow down. I like to think that I learn more about sex and about my own arousal every single time I have it. Don’t be afraid to try something new.

• • Sexual Confidence Mentor Eva Blake says, “When I suck dick like it’s medicine I need, I take control of the situation by determining the position that is going to work best for me in that moment, by holding on to my partner’s body or penis, in order to modulate the pace of their movement. I take my time. As much time as I want. When I spend time playing into my edges of pleasure my partner has way more fun than when I’m just trying to please them.”

So there you have it! Enthusiasm is a key to success, and I certainly hope that they kiss you on the mouth afterward.